Dealing with Angry, Annoyed, or Agitated Individuals at Work

Throughout our working lives, we may encounter angry, annoyed, or agitated customers—or even colleagues. The WEU believes in being prepared for such situations and the points below are meant as a guidance. While each scenario is different, having a few general principles in mind can help us respond more effectively and calmly. Some of the points below may seem obvious, but refreshing ourselves can make a big difference when tensions run high. 

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Do’s and Don’ts When Facing an Angry or annoyed Person (Client, Customer, or Colleague)

DON’T:

• Meet anger with anger
• Raise your voice, point, or stare aggressively
• Lecture or talk down to the person
• Use patronising phrases like “Calm down” or “Don’t be silly”
• Interrupt the person while they are speaking
• Make threats
• Make the person feel trapped or cornered
• Stand too close or crowd the person
• Feel the need to “win” the argument
• Be inconsistent in setting boundaries

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DO:

• Acknowledge your own mood and emotions
• Use calm, open body language
• Try to see things from their perspective – they may be anxious, afraid, or under pressure
• Be prepared to apologise when appropriate
• Assert yourself in a respectful and professional way
• Give them space to express their feelings
• Be aware of non-verbal communication cues:
  • Space – allow personal distance
  • Posture – stay open and relaxed
  • Stance – keep hands open and unclenched
  • Eye contact – make natural eye contact without staring
  • Touch – avoid physical contact if possible

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Verbal Communication Tips:

• Present a calm and professional appearance
• Speak softly and evenly
• Avoid provocative or judgmental language
• Keep your tone neutral but clear
• Encourage them to talk by listening without interrupting
• Maintain physical space when talking
• Show respect in your words and tone
• Avoid staring or intense eye contact
• Don’t jump to conclusions or make promises you can’t keep

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Overall Communication Skills:

1. Know yourself – Be aware of your own emotional triggers and how they may affect interactions.
2. Be honest with your feelings – Your tone, body language, and gestures all reveal your emotional state.
3. Feel secure in your role – Don’t let others’ behaviour intimidate you; try to understand what they are really communicating.
4. Be sensitive to others – Give your full attention when someone is speaking; active listening is key.
5. Be consistent – This builds trust over time.
6. Recognise signs of anxiety – In yourself and in others. Anxiety can hinder communication and escalate emotions.
7. Watch your non-verbal reactions – Use gestures thoughtfully to support your message.
8. Use words carefully – Avoid phrases that may sound accusatory or belittling. Words like “should,” “must,” “never,” or “you always” can be triggering.
9. Acknowledge differences – Be mindful of cultural, generational, and personality differences, as these can affect how messages are received.
10. Evaluate your own response – Ask yourself: Was I open-minded or closed? Cooperative or defensive? Supportive or dismissive?

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Summary:

Staying calm in the face of anger is not always easy—but with self-awareness, empathy, and good communication, you can help de-escalate difficult situations and maintain a professional and respectful environment for everyone. The WEU is always ready to listen to our members and offer advice and support.